I'm now watching 命中注定我爱你! On episode uhh 24 or 25 over 39 episodes. I think Taiwan dramas drastically affect my moods. Last night I watched a few episodes and it got me so down that I actually went to sleep earlier than usual. There was actually a combination of factors that made me so..........."emo". Cryfest. Not pretty. Ugh I hate using that word now, it's as if I'm taking these emotions lightly. Anyway, I woke up better, somewhat.

I don't know what's going to happen. On one hand, I really want to step up and thrash things out with you once and for all. But on the other hand, I know you don't care. And perhaps the best way is for me to disappear from your life completely. I quite like the idea of being invisible. It's not a very hard job. But I know if I lack the courage. I don't want to get hurt all over again. It sucks a lot not being able to see you, but I'm so bothered that you don't know the things I need to tell you. I really wish we could have some sort of closure on...everything. And then I wouldn't have to feel awkward around you, hiding whenever I see you around but silently wishing you could see me and say hi.

Anyway I have some good news. I may be FINALLY getting a proper job!!!!! But no high hopes yet, even though I'm actually very hopeful. It all started with a Classified ad.......... Okay so I may be working in town, which is good and convenient, even though I'm pretty sick of town. I just hope I won't constantly see people I recognise but don't want to see. Wish me luck all right.

Today I did some pretty productive things. I managed to finish writing most of the letters, and because my laptop wasn't with me today, I had to use my mum's old one and couldn't finish up my mix CDs. I'll probably wake up early tomorrow to finish up the final stuff before the BBQ tomorrow night :)

I'm super super broke too so I really hope I get the job. Just now I got a dress from Megan, and I'm planning to buy more stuff online because I can get free shipping hehehe ;) Secret shhh.

Hello. I'm using a xanga, can you believe it? I know no one will read this, but it's okay because I don't intend to update it. I'm still using my trusty LJ so go and visit it more often than you read this. Sigh okay I miss my DG very much. Eve Liz Plee Amadea Seeyue. I've got an awesome gift idea for them for Christmas, hope it'll turn out well.

Okay here are other people whom I miss and haven't met up with in quite a while: Amanda Eunice Sam Cheryl. Ughh. I miss long talks with Amanda. And actually confessing embarrassing secrets.

For some odd reason, I'm not really missing school. Idk why. Maybe when I go and collect results next year I might start feeling the nostalgia. Hm.

You know what? I'm not going to be an idiot and make you so important in my life anymore. It's really not worth it. I hate it when people are clueless, or maybe they're just not clueless and they would rather just sit around and not bother. But you know what, it's okay. Go ahead and be so nonchalant. I'm through with always taking the initiative. I'm not going to try and change what we are now. And I won't count on seeing you voluntarily ever again. Byeeee.

Tomorrow I'm going to resume with my Christmas shopping. And guess what, maybe I won't be so broke after all. I will potentially be $100 richer next week. Both Charmaine and I. We are excited, can you sense it?

Just now I was talking to someone online, and he told me he had something to ask me in person. I'm really curious. Is it about what I think it is? I really don't know. I just hope it's something good, something hopeful for once.